Monday, February 29, 2016

Choose your words...with your Children!

I like to be positive, think positive and act positive when with Lolo. I am criticized for trying to bring her up with distorted realities - meaning painting only about the "good things" around her. Well, she is just three - won't she imbibe the realities as she grows up? Right now, I feel she needs to be feel special and see special. 

But at three, she knows the difference between "good" and "bad".

Last Sunday morning, past 8:00 a.m. we were still in bed, the only morning I get to laze with her in bed now that schools have begun, and so also my schedule. Lolo is an early riser; irrespective of what time she goes to bed, she is up before 7:00 a.m. The mornings we get to gaze the ceiling with our funny conversations, she knows I am off from work...and she is most happy ("Mummy, opis ma dhe la?)

So, last Sunday morning.

She asked for Papa's phone to fiddle YouTube, an art she has grown expert in. We fussed over the subject of interest. In a moment of protest against her adamancy, we exchanged:

Mama: Lolo good girl mang-ge kala (Lolo is not a good girl).
Lolo: Mang gen che ne (Let me be).
Mama: Lolo bad girl geka la (Lolo is a bad girl).

The next thing was the splash of a hard slap across my face, with "Ya ne la...bad girl ge ne la. (Here it is, if I am a bad girl)."


To her, "bad" literally meant the ferocious side of her, which of course is not often unless ignited. Obviously, she doesn't like to be rated anything below "good", like she says "I am Moo-yap (I am pretty)" if we tease her otherwise.  

Often, we hold long discussions within our parents' forum how best to deal with our children. We share experiences and stories, some are worthy enough to be references. Among many, we generally agree that instilling the positive energy in your child(ren) and valuing their self esteems are core motivations as they grow up to face the competitive world. 

Thus, says my niece Lilly when I shared the incident with her, "We better be careful with the words we speak to Lolo."

Certainly. I learnt the hard way. 

Saturday, February 6, 2016

TENDREL...and the Day

The first call of the day was from my sister who exclaimed, "Gyeltsun has given birth to's on BBS." In my PJ, I ran for the remote control. What a splendid day!

We had plans for go for nyekhor today for reasons, and the news only meant greater reason. I woke up my girls to the news. Lolo's innocent reaction was, "Mummy, we will go and see the Gyelsey, right?"

We began our day with Lungtenphug Lhakhang where we offered very sincere prayers. I particularly offered a simple prayer that we may progress morally, professionally, spiritually and materially with the continuation of our 'Wangchuck Dynasty', under whose rule as my father puts in, "Without a King, what are we subjects?", we Bhutanese enjoy the utmost joys of living. 

Onward, we went to Changangkha Lhakhang, where rigorous kurim was going on. The atmosphere had an unusual aura and love enchanting the environment.

Then, to Dechenphug Lhakhang where again the chants from the monastery welcomed everyone with that single love: the happiness of the happiest news of the time.

Soon after lunch at my sister's place, we dropped by the RBG Chorten where 'Bazaguru Dungdrup' is on-going. My girls and I offered our prayers and wishes. [With each visit, our prayers got only stronger.]

Up the hill, we went to visit KP's Maymay Lama to offer our Losar wishes to him. As we left his hut, he came out with a spectacular gift for us. For Maymay to spare that on this day, it only meant "Tendrel". was as we crossed Jungshina when a pilot pulled up and we were blessed by His Majesty's entourage. I exclaimed, "Tendrel lay-ye, Tendrel zang-ye." I couldn't help smiling.

Of course. As a Bhutanese, what bigger happiness than the love and respects for our Monarchs. As a mother, what bigger news than the motherly happiness of a new life. Either way, the most awaited moment has arrived. Therefore, I pray I live long enough to take pride in serving under THREE Kings!

Monday, February 1, 2016

My Happiness Indicators

I walked into the kitchen
The water filter had functioned overnight
I felt so elated.

Then, I said I must define my happiness indicators, which are by far the simplest of all.

I never forget my roots, by all means. Both my parents are illiterate but they accorded education upon all of us. From as early as I can remember, they worked extra-hard to feed a family of six children. When I look back, those memories enrich my perception to life, and I am most grateful that they taught me to beauty side of everything. 

Therefore, my happiness indicators, on an everyday basis are:

Clean and neat kitchen
When I unbolt the kitchen door to prepare breakfast, I am most happy if the dishes are all gone, gas stove wiped to a shine and floor free of any dirt. I love the smell of a nice clean kitchen.

Water filter functioning
It's been few weeks since our filter water functioned properly. It's not that old either and we diligently clean it on a regular basis. Last afternoon, tired of seeing KP near the bukhari, I had asked him to take a look at it. If it failed to work this time, I said I would replace it. This morning, perhaps threatened by my wrath, it has worked. And this brought me happiness.

Laundry all done
I have sensed for a long time that when the laundry is done and clean clothes back to their places, I am most happy. For someone whose cupboard hasn't grown in the last many years, this commitment helps to remain clothed. 

"Where they should be, they should be."
If given a choice, I would want to live in an empty house, with the basic things. But it's not possible with many heads around, for each one requires almost the same number of things. In my Husband's words, "Your entire interest is to dismantle, give-away or remove things."In that case, I like when the things are where they should be, in proper places. Clothes (folded) in the cupboards. Shoes on the racks. Books on the shelves.

Shiny floor
This is the only indicator I am not able to feel achieved about. Our flooring is entirely planks, and over the years with coats of polishing, they look so unhealthy. I spent a great deal of income to get a better look, which unfortunately doesn't include the amount of frustration I invest in them. [A seemingly carpenter even robbed me of some money for the work he didn't do...all because I was carried by his promise to make the flooring look better!]. So, here my indicator is minus.

Active members
I come from a family where 'rest' is when you sit down with knitting or prayer beads in your hands. Sadly, our third generation hasn't inherited this at all, despite the many citations we narrate to provoke them. For them, watching TV is a birth-right that they must do with greater concentration that studying or reading a book. Or sleeping till midday is the best form of vacation. My patience has tremendously improved of late, and I vow not to fall behind until I give them the mantra. 

For someone who learnt the art of weaving, this passion certainly adds to my happiness level. Every time I am able to generate a new product, a new pattern, you won't believe how productive I feel! There is no end to one's imagination and the ability to be unique. Life becomes colorful with the magics of the colors. And happiness is a by-product.

You see, how grateful I am to life for giving me those everyday blessings. Blessed with kind parents. Blessed with a nice family. Blessed with beautiful children. Blessed with the ability to find happiness in every step. Blessed to be happy. 

Thank you, Water Filter for igniting this thought. You scored 10/10 in indicating my happiness for the day.

"You can patch your clothes but not your tummy," my mother often reminded us if we spent too much on the clothes. Going by her wisdom, as soon as the SMS from Mr. BoB comes, bringing that ounce of happiness declaring the remittance of salary, the following weekend I shop basic grocery to last a month: Salt, sugar, cheese, oil, noodles and rice. I feel so happy and high when the mini-FCB [store] is loaded.