Wednesday, January 27, 2016

The Wealthy Side of Children

The story goes: Once upon a time, there were two families living close by - one totally childless but wealthy, while the other poor and with large number of mouths to feed. One evening, the wealthy couple laid out their wealth to display. They constantly looked down on the other family citing their poor condition. However, every evening they could hear the house resonating with laughter. Curious as to how they could be happier than them, the wealthy couple sneak peak through the cracks of the hut. What they saw tied the knots of their hearts, for the family sat around their children relishing their every move.

I have heard this story a thousand times and still counting. I have felt the punch each time Lolo brings smiles on our lips. 

When I heard the following testimonies from our neighbours, I was enthralled and contentment became a possession knowing how much Lolo has enriched the environment:

"Just as the silence of the day haunts the serene environment, Lolo's shrill voice cracks through the walls...and I feel company at best," says our next door neighbour who is often alone at home during the day. 

Worried if the noise bothers them too much, we often confront our downstairs neighbours to bear with us. "Not at all. Every evening, I wait to hear Lolo's thumping footsteps before I drift to sleep," refutes Aunty, who is ever gentle with Lolo. 

"Ana Lay-shay [Lekshay] ga bo-fen [boyfriend] Justin Be-ba ga dance," and Lolo swings her cute little butt imitating Justin Beiber's moves. Gracious, such enchanting moments. And we ask for more, and more, and more....until she feels demanded.

That's the thing at home. It's always Lolo, and more Lolo. 

So, the story goes... No man is poor if he has children at home. True. For someone who has five children, each of varied nature and personality, I feel so warm at heart and rich in wealth. 

Friday, January 22, 2016

Walk the Road Taken Together...Walk Walk Walk

"It is not about finding the perfect person, it is more about being the perfect one."

I know, it is easier said than done when it comes to marriage where two [entirely] different persons come together to walk a common path... I am not a marriage counsellor but being married (to the same man) for almost a decade now, I feel honest enough to share my own thoughts. 

If I look at my own journey, I can comfortably state what it means to come to a common understanding.

Yes, I was like any other girl who dreamt of marrying a 'tall, dark and handsome' man who would sweep me off my feet with flowers, chocolates and gifts. I wanted to live a fairytale-like life - with the Prince of my dreams. 

I was lucky enough to meet a man, who may not be 'the Prince I dreamt' but who in every way is a man worth defining. Wait on...our click wasn't destined, but created. The first few years of our marriage was like what they say "hell broken loose". When I narrate few incidents such as 'I tore off few of his T-shirts' or 'I used to wail with undue sympathy', everyone thinks I am cooking up stories. I am not. Then (feels like long time ago), both KP and I were immature in our relation. He had his set of expectations and me mine. Neither of us wanted to owe up our faults but waited for the other to break the virtues. 

Lolo entered our world and we became 'mutually respectable and understanding' overnight.

Until recent times, I continued my expectations (lesser though) from KP. If he sat on the dewan watching TV, I wished he would brush off the cobwebs. If he basked in the sun reading a book, I wished he would rather level the firewood pile outside. Likewise, I always had wild thoughts running in my mind hoping he would read them somehow. And if he didn't, I felt bad... he wouldn't know, so it was "I" always. 

Slowly, I convinced myself to think straight.

I promised to see the good side of my Husband, irrespective. I am happy that he doesn't go bar hopping or gambling. I am thankful that he cooks dinner and takes care of the children when I am out of the house, so much so my gratitude that he religiously washes his own la-gye every weekend. KP never misses his prayers, and I am thankful for this habit of his. He respects my independence (although at times he thinks I am overly independent) and never comments on my needs and wants. For certain, I know he will not betray me with infidelity (some friends caution me when I say this, but then if you don't begin with trust, you will never know what it means to be trusted).

So, instead of complaining for things he doesn't do as I want, I thank him for being the sober man. I remind myself that he also has his own space to move around, and where we are required to think and be like one, we will. Else, he and I are two different people with different likes and dislikes. Just as much as I won't let him influence my life, I will not allow the same with him. We are a couple, indeed, but we are T.W.O persons.

Thus, this is the same story I tell my friends when I hear them crib about their wives or husbands. We have chosen to walk the common path - walk if we must, but let's respect individuality at the end of the day.

To find perfection in another person, begin with defining the same in you. 

Note: For days, I have been talking about marriage, love and future with my friends and colleagues. With each passing day, I am beginning to relish life all the more again, and with it comes the beauty of being happily married.

Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Dressed for 'Tshechu'

I know I am not old, and I don't feel one either. Every morning, tirelessly, I dress up for work - kira, tego, wonju, sunscreen, face powder, eye liner...and shoes.

"You are going to watch tshechu (festival)?" Lucy won't escape any opportunity to remark if I am little over-dressed for work. For instance, the dangling earrings I am wearing today. Or the meto-kira. Or the new pair of heels. 


I am good at humours. Say, the evening I went to my sister's place and there I met my childhood friend. Actually, we were once 'teased' in primary school. We remained good friends for a long time but it was like almost a decade...until that evening, and I looked like I just got out of bed. Uncombed hair. No grooming. Pure me. Stale me. On a lighter side, I didn't want him to see me that way. I wanted him to see me (be it after a decade) slightly stylish and permed. Since then, I vowed I will not compromise with whatever feminine personality I have. 

I am a woman with rules and standards.

I don't come to work half-dressed. Any time of the year, you will see me fully clad with wonju and tego. Already, our attire has gone through so much of transformation that it pains me to see it being distorted. So, I hold on to the tradition of respecting however little I can. 

My hair. I don't make buns or color my hair. An office is a place of respect, not discotheque. Mind you, this is my perception and I don't enforce the same on others. So, take this comment as personal and not intended to any other. Oh yes, my hair. I keep it short because I feel smarter in short hair. I feel lighter, energy on the higher side. 

Shoes - bye bye heels, thanks to the 3rd floor office we are housed in. Multiple times up and down the stairs that by the end of the day, I feel like someone knocked my knees with iron rods. Am I sad? Perhaps not. I am happier with shorter heels, which gives me all the reasons to be this restless creature.

Come to the colors of my attire and I am always B.R.I.G.H.T. Oh, I love bright colors - they reinvent the energy in me. Anything I do is associated with energy and I look for positive energy - be it the books I read, or the people I talk to, or the movies I watch, or the things I possess. Energy. Bright energy.

A quick look at myself and hola...almost dressed for tshechu and my mood is so festive today!

Monday, January 18, 2016

Three Years of Love, Joy and Happiness

For January 08, 2016

My Dear Lolo,

So soon you are three years old!

Your Mummy is sitting in a room, far far away from you. Physically. In thoughts and love, you are always with me, in me. 

It’s almost 10:00 p.m. [January 07, 2016] as I write this letter to you. Around this time three years ago, I was heading to the hospital - half fearing the pain but all the more impatient to welcome you. Oh baby, the night was not so easy! You weren’t that easy to enter the world, you know. I tossed and turned for more than half a day…and finally when you yelled out, I cried. I cried with happiness. I cried with excitement. I cried with joy. 

Fast forward three years.

Look at you now - already a little lady. You won’t believe how elegant you are, in everything you do.  
You are the first sun of the day;
You are the last moon of the night;
You are the most beautiful flower in our garden;
You are the sunshine in our lives.

Frozen-cake from Yachna Bakes

If we look forward to every tomorrow with bigger excitement than the last, it’s because you give us bigger reasons to expect the unknown. 

If your Papa and Mama wear bigger smiles every single day, it’s because you have given us the reasons to feel beautiful.

If all others around you (Apa, Ama, Ajang Daddy, Ane, Amchi, Apchi, Azem, Anas, Ata R, Ajang Solly and Lassi) can’t stop pulling your chubby cheeks, it’s all because they can’t get enough of you.

You have the entire world sending you love from all around. 
Lolo with Amchi

This comes to saying how much you have bettered the world. You may a small bundle of a girl, but with the magic to conquer all the ugliness in the world. Thank you, Lolo.

As you celebrate this milestone, here is your Mummy wishing you the best of everything because you are better than the best. I miss you terribly. Yet you assure me you are in good control. Thank you, Lolo. I couldn’t have asked for more.

Happy Birthday. We love you very very much.

(Note: I wrote this note while in Hyderabad and without the Internet facility, couldn't post it. So, here it is...filled with the same excitement!)