It was until Rekha and Jambay Dorji asking me my absence during the last blogger's conference on Sunday, 30 August 2015 that I felt the moral obligation to justify the sudden change in plan.
Let me put it this way:
As a working mother of a toddler, I am often battled with the hardest decisions to prioritise my obligations. Of course, I don't mean to portray as a very obsessed mother which I am not, rather I must be one of the most casual mothers around who wants to see her child grow up within her own likes and dislikes. But this doesn't again justify my priority which for now is my daughter, because she is not even three and she will not understand the only two days of the seven that she gets to spend with her mother. That's why, she passionately calls her as "Mummy ga Zaa-min" literally translated as "I am my mother's daughter"!
Until 9:30 a.m. that Sunday, I was determined to attend. I had already informed my husband that I would be attending the conference and he offered to baby-sit Lolo. And yes, the weekends are also the only breaks for my old parents (both in early seventies) who devote their weekdays to babysit Lolo.
When I called Kuenza few minutes past 9:30 a.m. Lolo was half-way through her breakfast, and still nagging. Kuenza and I had planned to attend together, something like I will call her when I start from home and we meet somewhere to barge in together (as usual).
On the other end, Kuenza expressed similar opinions stating that she was alone with Dechen, with her mother and husband gone to Yusipang for personal errands. My opinion went something like I get the don't-go feeling because of the various obligations laid for the day. Lolo halfway through her breakfast while planning her day like go to the vegetable market to buy Olaf the carrot! Then visit Amchi's place in Dechencholing, my sister's place. This is one social event she parks for the weekend which gives her the freedom to explore her Amchi's place. She also wanted to have iii-ceam (ice-cream) and zee-lly (jelly). And she said, "Mummy ma dhe na (don't go Mummy)", her marble eyes flickering for (positive) response.
[Note: We did have a fulfilling Sunday. In addition to her plans, we also made this tiara out of the cosmos flowers blooming outside my sister's place.]
|Lolo enchanted by the tiara|
My husband saw me around even after 10:00 a.m. and was like, "You didn't go?" Between us, I said his never-ending prayer session held me back (but honestly, that was not the reason).
The reason is: Weekend is the only time I get to spend quality time with my daughter. Monday to Friday, I leave office before 8:00 a.m. when often Lolo would be buzzing in her sleep, and reach home not before 6:00 p.m. The few hours into the night, I run around the house with a peck and a pat as and when I bump into Lolo who is also equally busy with her movements. So, weekend is really the only time Lolo and I spend time going for shopping, going to the park, or visiting relatives and friends.
When I state this, some may be tempted to question what about the times I leave her for my official duties like trips and travels.
When I knew I was carrying, I almost immediately charted out my priorities. I said for the first year when I would be nursing my child, I will not leave the house even for a night, unless my child accompanied me. This explains why I missed the Europe trip when Lolo was 9-months old. I proudly state this to show the pride I wore then, and even now. After I weaned and Lolo started her solids, surprisingly she exhibited total independence in her routine in terms of no-problem-eating, no-problem-sleeping, besides not being a cry-baby. She paved this flexibility for me to leave her for durations as long as two-weeks without a single complain upon return. For these kinds of situation, she knows I am NOT home and won't be back until the return date.
When I am around and it is weekend, she knows it very well.
|From the 1st Blogger Conference, Aug 30, 2015|
Lastly, on a closer look at the attendees of the blogger conference, correct me but I noticed most of the attendees were either parents of grown-up children, or aspiring parents, or should I say "fathers" (don't drag me into confrontation here, please!). All I want to share is that I couldn't attend because I had plans with my daughter that Sunday, and right now my role as a mother demands much more commitment than my interests and passions.
I sincerely hope I can attend the future meets.