Friday, April 18, 2014

To my Lolo, from your Mama

Suddenly, I am so emotional after reading an article online about a father's efforts in memory of his two-and-half-year daughter who passed away in her sleep one fateful night, very recently on April 3. (https://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/stolen-moments-larry-carroll-fundly-savannah-savvy-182856477.html)

I have a daughter and I completely feel with this father's pain and grief. My prayers for the family thus resulted in me writing this letter to my daughter Lolo:

"Dear Lolo,

I am writing you this letter straight from work. It's almost 1:00 p.m. in the afternoon, I imagine you sleeping or at your best, haunting the house with your Grands, something we have come to accept as a part of your adventures. You are one restless girl, you know that right? For hours, you can be on move, never once losing your lovely smile and the funny faces coming from you. 

I read an article online about a family who lost their little girl few weeks ago. The pain of the parents, especially the father's is still very intense that I could feel through each of his word. In each word, I saw you in the shoes of their late daughter and I was almost to tears thinking what if it were me in the place of the father. Darling, I probably won't recover from the pain (touchwood) if that was the case.

Every morning, you are the first face in my reflection. I, like a crazy lover stare at you for minutes before I pull myself off the bed. You have magnetic power which keeps me glued to you. Last night, we were awake in the wee hours of the night to prepare your feed. Even in the darkest night, your silhouette like a candle radiated and I could find everything within a hold under your reflection. Bingo! We could make the feed perfectly in my worst sleepy state.

You are not only a lovely child but also a very fascinating human. In your spell, we are all poets and writers and thinkers. You have given us a new dimension to defining love and affection.

Having said all these, I hold on to my life to hope nothing but best for you. Then, I feared death and now I fear MORE. I fear about the life I will lose because of you, I fear for the moments I will never have and I fear for the worst things, ever. Life's impermanence keeps me agile and now it keeps ever more cautious for the life I gave in you, my daughter.

Lolo, as we grow old each day, let's pray hard to hang on for the longest time. Let's celebrate life in every way. Let's make more 'stolen moments'.

With this, let's pray for Savvy's return in the girl her parents are looking for. We send our prayers and wishes for her quick return.

Yours Mama."

2 comments:

  1. Felt so sorry for Larry and family. Cant imagine happening that to my kids .Your letter to Lolo made me more sentimental.

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    Replies
    1. We parents share this common feeling of fear about death, which amounts more when we have our little ones growing under our care.

      Thanks for reading Dawa, we will meet again and talk about our favourite topic - our children!

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