Sunday, October 12, 2014

Thinking of my Little One: Lolo

It's been a while since I updated my blog. I am ashamed of the silence which is purely unintentional but as a busy working mother, time is a luxury I wish I had more in a day! Anyway, the mood is perfect for an update right now.

Running into the fourth day away from my Lolo, I feel so vacant and incomplete. I am trying to grasp with the reality that I am physically away from Lolo, my little energy dose. At this time, she must be running wild at home or if she is out of the house today being Sunday, she would be apple-baked in the sun! Oh, I miss you Darling, you are such a sweetheart.

Lolo has been doing perfectly fine and I continue thanking for all the blessings that came with her. In my deepest moments of contemplation, I think of how my life has bloomed with the birth of my daughter. Lolo is the sun of the day and the moon of the night. And during a clear sky, she is the only star I see in the sky. 

The fact that she is capable of taking care even at this age is my biggest consolation. She surely knows who to stay good when I am away. When I am near her, I become her target of whims and fancies. Of course! I get that extra pudding for being her mother, and I get to enjoy my little one more than anyone else.

I miss her tiny fingers and toes, I miss her tiny lips and I miss her funny walks. All right, I miss everything about my daughter. At night, I think of my bed time with her - the way she drifts into slumber holding my hand, the tiny sound of snores from her almost invisible nose and her crazy cries at night. That I wake up in the middle of the night thinking of her. 

Lolo will be a highly diplomatic character as I can sense how she caresses me when I am seemingly angry with her. Unless I say OK, she clings to me crying out, "Ma-ma...ma-ma." This is my girl! And then she gives me her million dollar smile, her tiny teeth pouting out haplessly. 

I think of a pink Lolo at this moment - pink shirts and pink trousers. Or no pants? 

I am so determined to work harder for Lolo for she deserves to have the best life, the best of everything. When she grows up, I will take her to places she needs to visit to understand life better; I will make her meet people who will show the positive indicators of life. For now, she is surrounded by a houseful of people who eat for Lolo, drink for Lolo and think of Lolo. Lolo...our biggest asset and mine - a new life!

Signed with beautiful love and huge misses. 

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Mid-way to Terrible TWO

"Ha-ha-ha," this will be the most usual sound roaring from all of us who watch our little Lolo perform her many stunts every day, and each day sees more and more of her developmental acts. 

Lolo hit her "mid-way to terrible two" few days ago, which reminds us to stand prepared for the most terrible phase of her childhood - the TWO-year target! Already, her mischief keeps us entertained and worried (a minute of silence indicates her whereabouts somewhere doing something not meant to!). This morning, she was laid down on the floor when I entered the kitchen. Without a feather's sound, she had followed me and didn't know since when she had been standing near the gas cylinder, her tiny fingers fiddling the hose pipe! And the next minute, she was all over my jackets; apparently her head got struck in one of them and there she was, howling at the top of her voice!

With her freedom to be standing on her feet, Lolo exploits the time with full energy and vigilance. I tell you, she is everywhere. I mean everywhere. 

"She is not two yet? Oh, worse is yet to come," says almost every one who gets my woes for an answer when they ask how Lolo is. I think I say that she keeps me too busy with her movements. So, terrible TWO is what we have to wait and see!

The fact that she is so entertaining (except when she demands to play with water) really keeps the rest of us glued to her performance. Of late, she has picked up some acrobat moves with her hinges and head. For the record, she refuses to wear any footwear unless we go out and into the car, and by the end of the day - you tell me the color of her soles! 

Lolo is too lazy to clean her poo :) Few weeks ago, she had known how to indicate, that I invested into an expensive potty which the lousy weather spared her from the training. Today, she doesn't even let us check on her diapers; the moment she sees us approaching her with the wipes and oil, she jets out at a slippery speed and we running after her until we corner her somewhere on the wall. Then, she screams and rolls over :(

So, terrible TWO is what we have to wait and see. With half a year left to face the stage, our confidence is only wavering. We are many against one but she really is a handful child. If only we didn't love her so much, we wouldn't care much or be at her guard. But we love her very (very) much and we are at her command.


Friday, June 20, 2014

A Cautionary Note to My Daughter

"Dear Lolo,

Rejoice your virtue and innocence when you can - if you were an adult like us today, you would be down trodden to hear about all kinds of things happening around us. I have been trying to protect you from from the vices and prejudices as much as possible, but I know you won't be escaped as you grow up.

The world is becoming a chaotic place. Power, authority, wealth, money, name and fame are what everyone is after. How often I look at you and wish I could take you to a different world where you won't have to be a part of all of these dirty things in life!

This morning, I read in Kuensel that Bhutan is ranked 16/162 in the global ranking of Happiest Countries! Oh yes, we are fortunate in many many ways compared to 2/3rd of the world. When I watch the heart wrenching news in the Television from all over the world, from places inflicted by war and arms, of children and women being the hapless victims, of men being butchered by militants, of girls being raped and mutilated, I thank our fortune for being born in a country like Bhutan where these kinds of happenings are at the bare minimum. 

But Darling, time is changing and people are changing, even here in Bhutan.

Worse than wars and arms, our people are undergoing mental and attitude transformation which I find are more dangerous than physical changes. Already we have divided society based on regions (very often I hear westerns citing eastern and otherwise as well), our people are rifting apart in the name of political parties and the level of unhappiness is growing intensely.

Economic crisis is hitting us hard. I fear soon we might enter depression period and it will be more than painful if our children are victimized by the follies of their parents. Parents are we today and you children might end up paying for our mistakes. Lolo, forgive us then, forgive us now.

Your Mama wishes she can change the entire world for the good of all. At the least, I can worry for you and try keeping you from these vices. You know Lolo, when you grow up, you don't have to be rich, wealthy, beautiful, or powerful. Just be a good person. Like your Papa had said few years ago, 'I may die a poor man, I may die a rich man, I may die a young man, I may die an old man. But my conscience is clear and I will die a Happy Man.'

In prayers for your GOOD HUMAN BEING,

Mama."


Monday, June 16, 2014

For a Good Cause

My dear readers,
I am sharing the following email I received from Ms. Heather, who is a Mesothelioma Cancer survivor and she is on a mission to spread the awareness on this deadly disease. I apologize for not being able to write a researched piece on the same, however to keep my word to help her in her pursue, I dare to reproduce the mail she sent me (with due respects to you Heather).
For those of you who may be interested to know further, kindly follow on the links provided by the writer. 

" I’m reaching out to you today in hopes that you will help me with a cause that is very near and dear to my heart. At age 36, just 3 ½ months after my first and only child, Lily, was born, I was diagnosed with mesothelioma and given 15 months to live. Miraculously, I beat the odds and I’m still here eight years later.
Mesothelioma is considered one of the most aggressive and deadly cancers; most people are given just one year to live upon diagnosis. There is no known cure for mesothelioma and the future continues to look grim as attention to the disease as well as research funding continues to decline. The only known cause of ‘meso’ is exposure to asbestos, which is still not banned in the US. Sadly, it doesn’t look like asbestos will be banned anytime soon, as there is too much money being made by using this deadly mineral.
Since May is National Cancer Research Month, I’ve made it my personal mission to try and spread awareness of this rare, preventable disease. The more people that know about this cancer, the more lives are potentially saved! Would you be willing to share the site that I blog for with your readers? The Mesothelioma Cancer Alliance has tons of information about the disease, asbestos exposure, and is also where my husband and I blog about our journey with mesothelioma.
Please let me know what you think :-) From awareness grows hope. Each voice could save a life.
All my best,
Heather"


Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Come Along with Mama

The biggest fear I had about becoming a mother was the compromise on my mobility, considering how much I needed to socialize and move around. But no, this was not to be an issue at all when I decided that wherever I go, Lolo will come along. 

Except during my visits to the hospital wards, funerals and official dinners, otherwise a regular sight will be this Mama with her little one hung around. Be it at the weekend vegetable market, baby showers or any other meeting, Lolo has become an added stamp of my presence. Lolo started her visits since her 4th month and grew up greeting many faces on her way, which definitely shows in the ways she handles the crowd around her. My daughter is not crowd-shy at all, she can handle hundred people around her. In a way, I see a part of my social-animal behaviour in Lolo; she will grow up to like variety of companies around her.

I was totally inspired when I read about the European Parliament Member Lucia Ronzuilli (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Licia_Ronzulli) who has been taking her daughter Vittoria to the parliament sessions. I was inspired because I want we mothers to be this proud of multitasking our responsibilities, without compromising the foremost "motherhood" in the least. Ms. Lucia is so beautiful to be doing this.

When my Lolo was around six months old, I had taken her for a semi-official dinner, partly because she was still on exclusive breastfeed and largely because she had loose motion that day and needed constant care. We were in a group of several members over dinner. My attention to the gathering wasn't missed, I attended to each of their conversation, except when they laughed that I tended to kiss my daughter and spare the moments to her. I don't know how I still have this gnawing feeling of that evening but even today I feel one of the members didn't approve this scene of me bringing my daughter along, although not spoken aloud but felt very strongly through the expressions. Well, my apology was NOT to promise NOT to bring along Lolo in the future gatherings, rather I said I will save even half a second to spend time with my daughter, in and out of the house.

This is no way an obligation I put on myself. I am OK to take my daughter and attend to her restlessness when the rest roar with laughter. I am OK to be tired and uneven when others choose to spend some quality time for themselves, away from their children. What I am NOT OK is to miss these few years of their innocence - after all, they won't be babies for long! They will grow up to be responsible for themselves. Until then, they need us, especially we mothers to be their attendees.

So, my darling Lolo will forever get this welcome gate message - "Come along with Mama".

Friday, April 18, 2014

To my Lolo, from your Mama

Suddenly, I am so emotional after reading an article online about a father's efforts in memory of his two-and-half-year daughter who passed away in her sleep one fateful night, very recently on April 3. (https://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/stolen-moments-larry-carroll-fundly-savannah-savvy-182856477.html)

I have a daughter and I completely feel with this father's pain and grief. My prayers for the family thus resulted in me writing this letter to my daughter Lolo:

"Dear Lolo,

I am writing you this letter straight from work. It's almost 1:00 p.m. in the afternoon, I imagine you sleeping or at your best, haunting the house with your Grands, something we have come to accept as a part of your adventures. You are one restless girl, you know that right? For hours, you can be on move, never once losing your lovely smile and the funny faces coming from you. 

I read an article online about a family who lost their little girl few weeks ago. The pain of the parents, especially the father's is still very intense that I could feel through each of his word. In each word, I saw you in the shoes of their late daughter and I was almost to tears thinking what if it were me in the place of the father. Darling, I probably won't recover from the pain (touchwood) if that was the case.

Every morning, you are the first face in my reflection. I, like a crazy lover stare at you for minutes before I pull myself off the bed. You have magnetic power which keeps me glued to you. Last night, we were awake in the wee hours of the night to prepare your feed. Even in the darkest night, your silhouette like a candle radiated and I could find everything within a hold under your reflection. Bingo! We could make the feed perfectly in my worst sleepy state.

You are not only a lovely child but also a very fascinating human. In your spell, we are all poets and writers and thinkers. You have given us a new dimension to defining love and affection.

Having said all these, I hold on to my life to hope nothing but best for you. Then, I feared death and now I fear MORE. I fear about the life I will lose because of you, I fear for the moments I will never have and I fear for the worst things, ever. Life's impermanence keeps me agile and now it keeps ever more cautious for the life I gave in you, my daughter.

Lolo, as we grow old each day, let's pray hard to hang on for the longest time. Let's celebrate life in every way. Let's make more 'stolen moments'.

With this, let's pray for Savvy's return in the girl her parents are looking for. We send our prayers and wishes for her quick return.

Yours Mama."

Friday, April 4, 2014

Lolo - She Who Proves All Myths Wrong!

I have been itching to write this article for a long time but the excuse of being too busy shames me effortlessly. Anyway, here it is:

For the first time mother I was going to be, I was held with the million superstitions and hundred dos and don'ts that came from generations across. Obvious to the fact that a mother would want nothing less for her child, I in my own ways of protection wanted to reserve the best efforts in bringing up Lolo.

Lolo today is almost 15 months, 'very healthy' as everyone remarks and 'the most amiable child', says my parents who nurtured seven children of their own and fourth grandchildren in the row. Lolo's journey so far has been a blessed one (touch wood!) and we are very grateful for her kindness in being a nice girl.

1. NO Lactogen or Cerelac!
- I was warned and cautioned against feeding supplements, with weird reasons like they burst the child's physic and weight without much retentivity and also that the baby tends not to taste anything else after them.

No - my Lolo proves this wrong. I breastfed her exclusively for five and half months until she showed healthy signs to intake solids. To prepare her digestive system, I began with porridge form of cerelac and gradually added vegetable, fruits and cereal flavours. She was also introduced to Lactogen formula after her 6th month, in events I couldn't go to feed her.

This variety of tastes has in fact given Lolo a good range of choices and it also proves easy to feed her when she gets too tired with the same taste of good. For instance, when we travel she is on cerelac and Lolo shows no problem unlike other babies who are struck to their routine diet. 

2. Single Teething is Perilous
- Indeed it was, the first time Lolo started teething. She had loose motions for three days in row and she was totally deflated. It worried us so much. But well, that was it - from next time onwards, her single tooth, one at a time, shot out without any change in her mood. This proven myth is therefore not applicable for a child like Lolo.

3. NO Bottle Feeding - Loose Motion?
- Yes, this is what everyone says. But I think it depends on what level of hygiene you maintain. Now that Lolo is completely weaned, she is on bottle feeding and she is doing absolutely fine.

4. Tough to Wean, is it?
- I was to go for a week's trip and everyone worried how Lolo would manage. I fed her the morning I left with the biggest worry in my heart (keeping the promise that I shall not travel until Lolo completed her first birthday). When I came back after a week, Lolo showed no sign of any pain in her eyes. Not even for a moment she had given any trouble to anyone in my absence. My mother in her words explained, "Your daughter is a Buddha!" (She truly is :)) I had dreaded this transition based on most of the hilarious stories I had heard - like mothers applying bitter juices around the nipples, or making scary cotton faces on the breasts. My efforts were nowhere near them, it came very natural.

5. Fat Babies don't walk so soon
- Lolo's road to health chart shows she is on the border line - the upper line. Her weight has been progressive over the months, meaning she is a healthy child. Everyone predicted that fat babies don't walk so soon, yet Lolo began to sit at five months, crawled at ten months and two weeks later she started to stand on her own. By her first birthday, Lolo was on her feet. Drop by one of these days to our house, and you will see what mess our house is in!

6. Babies lose weight once they walk
- Lolo hasn't! My Hubby's Maymay Lama lifted Lolo and exclaimed, "Are you sure she is NOT made of lead?" Lolo continues to enjoy the title of being a chubby child, despite the energy bomb that she is. Her excitement of being able to stand on her feet is expressed with the total freedom to keep walking around even if the situation doesn't demand her. She is the most restless child I have seen seen so far!

7. Weak mother, weak baby
- Talk of it and tell me now. For some reasons, I haven't been able to gain weight since years ago and this might partly explain why I stopped feeding Lolo. But my Lolo - she keeps herself good. She sleeps well, eats well and is super-duper active. Certainly she is not a weak baby. But she is twice my face! Ha-ha.

As she grows, I hope Lolo will prove wrong to all the fallacies of the world. She is the chosen one and she makes me feel so fortunate to be her mother. Watching Lolo grow has given me the best meaning of my life. I owe her one, very very much.


Monday, March 10, 2014

Lolo - Our Positive Energy

Yes, I am so right to think of life as a beautiful garden, especially after becoming a mother. Motherhood, in many ways have molded me to a better way and Lolo has become the crucial and necessary source of all positive energies. 

But Lolo has a tough side which is so expected of her, for all the things that we have come through. Until recently, I was to read something which has been there in my spam folder for the past 19 months. It's a mail that was written to me (and my family) during the worst times in our lives, where the writer has expressed huge amount of anger, sadness and torment. The unsigned letter has so much to say to us, to our beings and to our conscience. 

But my reaction is not that. During those days (spring of 2012), we were so overwhelmed with excitement at the prospect of welcoming someone in our family. Everyone floated with the news and wanted nothing bad but happiness, happiness and happiness. The un-named life was our source of energy and we sure shot said s/he will be the biggest change for good. 

Obviously, not everything is in our hand that some things went out of control and we were to face ordeals for wrongs never done. As a mature person, I would have wanted to spell out and talk it out, but we need two hands to clap. Anyway, I am trying to bring to the understanding that Lolo's tough nature certainly is a by-product of the fight I put through then. 

Fast forward 19 months. I read the mail with the most refreshing memory I dare not forget even when I am on the pyre. I wanted to do what any human would have done, but NO - that's not my fight anymore. I was made to think of the beautiful daughter we have today, how much we adore and love her. And she is a complete package, full of life and surprises. (Pardon me, I can talk volumes about Lolo!) If it wasn't for those daring moments, I and my Hubby wouldn't be cherishing the little joy in our hands the way we do today. Lolo is the symbol of that phase of our lives and she gave us so much to look forward to.

I feel we don't really need God to judge us when we can judge ourselves. We also don't need our words, habits and character to be the final destiny when we can pave our own destiny. Life is seldom a chance and many a choices. I made my choices with no tinge of regret. This all, because my daughter's life teaches me more than I ought to learn. 

Seriously, I have no energy to put up another fight. I am even exhausted to get angry at someone. Come on now, there is more to life than mere vengeance, remorse and regret. There is more to life when you have a huge source of energy like Lolo at home.

Friday, January 24, 2014

M.A.M.A!

She calls me "Mama" and that completes the feeling!

We have this belief that whichever name the baby calls first, that parent is doomed to struggle! I should believe such things ever exist, because when Lolo called me "Ma...ma" (with her little tongue twister) for the first time, I nearly dropped the dish I was doing! And right next to me was my Hubby who was trying to get her saying "Papa". I felt so complete and heavenly.

For months, I waited to hear this word. Motherhood was born in me from the day a tiny cell called "Lolo" developed inside me. The nine-months she grew inside me, as it was, was a founding journey, much to say how much we are drooling over her every day, even today! But the difference it feels when you hear your name being called in the form you most covet. And mine - "Ma...ma".

My Lolo is such a drama-queen. Even to speak this out, she tongue twists her little mouth to make it sound like it's perfected to the last sonata! We are really loving it, you know. 

Lolo is slowing beginning to enter the real world of touch, color, taste and feel. She has already mastered the art of mimicry that she is right after us imitating anything we do or say. Talk of taste and she hunts for anything (mark my word - anything) within her sight. She eats amla (goose-berry), ti-ti-ri (tamarind), walnuts and what nots. She likes spaghetti, maggie and macroni noodles, including hot cheesy momos. At least in her eating habits, I haven't been so particular. I wanted Lolo to get a taste of everything and she surely gets me weak by proving many a myth wrong! That's my girl.

Also, she is already choosy about her clothes. She knows what keeps her good and what she doesn't like. Lucy stamps, "If Lolo is not Alu's daughter, I will fight the case in the Supreme Court!" Ha-ha. Such comics I have at home to keep me alive and upright. 

The case shall thrive until Lolo learns to acknowledge each of the members by name. And for now, I rest with ten pairs of green eyes around me! Yipee...Lolo's Mama I am, after all!





Monday, January 20, 2014

Lolo's Little Booties

"Journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step."

Go Lolo go, go and explore the world and make loads of differences where-ever you go!

Since 17th January, 2014 (ten days after her 1st Birthday), Lolo has started taking few steps of her own. We are very excited about this development in her, it makes us feel like she will walk the world and make very constructive differences, at least her Mama feels this way :) 
Lolo's shoe-rack visitors, to start with.

More than me, my family is excited about her life. Look at the picture where Lolo's first collection of her little booties are featured (and don't miss the worn-out pair of socks inside the pink sandals!). The brown pair is a gift from my brother and Sister-in-law, and the other from my sister. With all her energy, Lolo has been trying to uproot the bunnies off the booties!

My nephew R has been trying to get Lolo walking, that he stands her against the wall and lures her with many attractions in his hands. Even otherwise, the whole household is busy buying Lolo lots of attention. Everyone wants to see her moving on her own and everyone wants Lolo  to be "on her feet".

On her feet! Certainly, this phase will mean she will learn to fight everything her way to make it happen for her. As such, my girl is quite the fighter (I have noticed she won't budge unless she makes the other children around her cry!) and she carries a huge sack of pride on her little nose. This is beautiful - watching your baby find a way for herself. 

As she starts walking (which we are sure is coming in another few days), we stand prepared for the cyclone due to happen. You should drop by our place these days and see for yourself what we mean. Our rooms are like never-sorted-in-last-ten-years, nothing stands where it should be, and soon the floor will be devoid of everything on it, except the things Lolo can't push/ lift or throw. We are going crazy running after her, picking up the things she kicks as she moves. 

Including her little booties!


Wednesday, January 8, 2014

"Our Winter Flower" ~~~ Happiest 1st Birthday

Darling Lolo,

Today you came in our lives, in the wake of cold January and warmed our hearts to the fullest volume. Thank you so much.

I should be the happiest mother for having such a lovely child like you, one day you will understand how much we really love you. You complete our family and we are so haplessly in love with you, and with your wits. Already, you are a star.

Last night, I was scanning your chubby little face under the green bulb and guess what! You have the best innocence spread across your face and you lit like a full-moon! I melted :)

Thank you for enriching our lives unlimited, we can sit around you and laugh at the little things you do for us! We are so blessed Darling.

And as you celebrate your 1st Birthday, we want to send all our loves and wishes. In fact, we are celebrating the first anniversary of our founded happiness. Darling, we (the entire family) wish you the best of everything.
You are our WINTER FLOWER - so wrong if people thought no flowers bloom in winter, you did and you still are the most beautiful rose in our garden.

Happy 1st Birthday. We love you,
The Entire Family.