Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Why I Missed the 106th National Day Celebration, Physically

The whole of last day, I was at home with Lolo and together we were watching the live broadcast on BBS of the National Day celebrations. We very much enjoyed.

As a mother, I have learnt to prioritize a lot of things. For one, my commitment to watch Lolo grow and until she is of one year, not to go anywhere without her. So, this weekend I am traveling down south with Lolo and her accessories - her bath-tub, her toys, her foods and her clothes to attend a week-long training. At least, I can be with her in the evenings. 

Similarly, weekends and holidays are heartily welcomed in my calender for they mean round the clock with Lolo. One such the National Day Holiday.

Right at 10:00 a.m. we switched on the old TV set at home. I know my girl is too young to understand everything but that didn't spare her from getting the updates from me. When I watched His Majesty the Fourth Druk Gyalpo (my heart exploded with happiness!), I narrated to Lolo the role of this godly King because of whose hardwork we are living peacefully today. She smiled in return. 

Likely, we enjoyed each of the events with so much of love, respect and spirit of nationalism. Lolo particularly loved the mask dances during the chipdrel and marchang ceremonies. Even for a baby, those events generated so much of interest and enthusiasm that she kept pointing her little finger to the TV set.

When His Majesty addressed the country, the two of us listened with such happiness. Somehow I got the feeling that Lolo understand more than what I did, because along with us, her generation will work under the great leadership of our King!

You see, I missed the National Day Celebration, I mean physically  because I saw myself in a bigger role rather being with Lolo. She needed to get the right taste of this nationalist feeling on her 1st episode of our national celebration. As she grows up, she will begin to rejoice her birth as a blessing and to be called a Bhutanese. She will love her Kings, her country and her people.

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

A Working Mother

Then, 24 hours was not enough for me; Now, 24 hours is never really enough! While I very much enjoy this new phase in my life - the motherhood phase, there are few things which are totally out of my hands. One, the tick of the clock!

Just back from feeding, I know tiredness climbs onto me more gracefully than lethargy. Morning hours are all rushed up. For the last ten months, my Hubby has been so cooperative that he prepared breakfast, packed the lunch boxes for the three elder girls and dropped them to school. But how much can you expect your man to do these chores?

These days Lolo is kind enough to sleep at least until 8 a.m. but surprisingly at times the moment I am out of bed, she opens her tiny eyes following my movement. This kinda shows how mother and child are connected! Still, she is such an amiable child and doesn't bother me until I am done with the kitchen work. First, I need to broom the whole house (the terrible OCD I have), then breakfast, then Lolo's food for the day and finally the five-minute slot to get myself dressed up. Every morning, we are used to running few minutes later than the projected time.

Honestly, when I was to join back to work after my maternity leave, how I wished I could stay home for a longer time with Lolo. My heart broke each time I kissed her good-bye until next. And this routine has brought us to the 11th month since. Today, I look back - am I not glad that I stood? Yes, I am. 

Like I and Aue Tashi discussed over tea during our last meeting, giving up one's career for the children is sacrificial and good in one way, but if you look deeper into the matter, there is so much you will miss out making this choice. As a working mother, no doubt that life is gun-on-your-head but a larger part of the appreciation is how you manage the little time you have in hand. Work in office keeps mounting and calling; you may crib, burst or hoard but you do it anyway. Being home doesn't spare you from the normal chores plus the thousand more with the baby, and you do those anyway as well. Social life becomes a little tight with less time for family and friends but again the beauty of having someone more precious to take care of. Financial calculations are on the miserly side and you become such good accountants! Shopping is more fun because you can toy up your child and exhibit a bit of your creation. 

My friend Kuenza puts it this way, "We working mothers are good managers, people should recruit us for bigger responsibilities." I like that and I agree to her every word. Yes, we skill the management arts being working mothers and we are overwhelmingly patient with many people, with many things. By the way, when was the last time I lost my temper? See, I can't remember that!

When I think of the 'woes of a working mother', I salute all women who share the same mixed feelings like me. One day, as I narrate the childhood stories to Lolo, I will tell her this that she taught me more than I could have taught her. I didn't give up my work for her, and I will also NOT give her up for anything else. Hence, I don't mind this tiredness right now and I have this energy to smile as I write this article.


Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Crawlies ~~~

"Look, Lolo is crawling!" and the news was all over the places. Desperate phone calls were made to all the concerned family members residing in different parts of Thimphu and outside Thimphu, text messages to friends and all cameras on roll! It felt like a magical moment! So, Lolo began to crawl a little after ten months!

Now, she is everywhere. She has gained the first step towards her independence and freedom. She is enjoying her movement, much to the dismay to the rest of us. Because, this has now become a good work-out for us. We are all like, "Lolo, don't go there!" "Lolo, don't pick that!" Last morning, she was all over my cupboard, taking out every single piece of cloth. I nearly fainted :)

When my nephew Little R was her age, I remember my parents' cries, "We parented seven children, none were this restless like Rigcee!" And now they are like, "Even Rigcee wasn't this restless." I hear my mother lamenting, "Lolo, your mother wasn't a bit like you!" This is so funny to come from my mother.

"Alu, what did you eat when you were pregnant with Lolo?" Lucy asks me almost everyday. Honestly, I had one of the most wonderful pregnancy processes -save those first few months of sickness, rest of the months were without much of a problem. I look back to those days when I had Lolo growing inside and there is something I was so sure of.
Lolo attempting one of her army-style crawls.

Things were little hazy then - the numerous family issues we were subjected to and the frequent fusses I had with my colleagues. I wasn't meaning to be tough but the situations demanded; for weeks in continuation I was at the confronting stage, that at one time I even visited the Psychiatrist to confirm if my unborn child will be effected by all the stress and tension I was going through! The Dr. confirmed he/ she won't be, but as a mother I knew somewhere my child will inherit this stubborn-gene. Lolo sure did that!

Close to my delivery, I hitched a big fuss with someone who seemingly was taking advantage of my physical and mental state at that time. I was eight months pregnant then and near to bursting. That was one of the fight-back moments, at the risk of passing the trait to my child. Truly, Lolo is the Boss everywhere - I can't leave her unattended with other kids, she would have gotten them into tears when I turn back! And at home, her screams hold us tight in corners.

Now  that she is everywhere, her stubborn nature is only growing more. She wants everything her way and is so determined to reach for what registers into her mind! Perhaps the only consolation is that in today's world, Lolo is definite to find a place. But am not complaining here - I only mean to say that Lolo keeps our home and hearts alive.

Thursday, October 31, 2013

Baby, Baby-sitting and Baby-sitter!

One of the hottest topics over lunch-time is 'baby-sitting'. 

When we planned to start a family, my Hubby and I were more worried about financial implication than anything else. But today, that seems to be the least of the worries - there are many other pressing concerns which are far more essential in raising children. 

Right now, the biggest concern or rather a problem with many is the issue of baby-sitting and getting a good baby-sitter, especially for those working mothers. Trust me, we don't feel good to have our parents baby sitting our children, but who otherwise will be better than them? If you look at the kind of care and love with which they tend to our children (the very way they must have tended us), we feel haplessly blessed that our parents are around us, for all times' sake! I am genuinely glad that my father and mother took onto themselves to bring up all their grandchildren (Lolo in the 4th position) without any dependence on baby sitters! Sadly, not everyone is blessed as we are.

A good family friend has been struggling to get a good baby sitter for months now. How often I wish I could help her out, like few times I offered her to reach her baby to my place, but we stay at the two edges of the town! So, it's literally half an hour drive one way to reach my place! And she is one of the many such cases, like the sweeper lady at my work place who does the cleaning job carrying her 10-month baby at the back, like those city sweepers along the expressway who work tirelessly with their babies! 

When I look at all these, my worries are minimal. I shouldn't be complaining of the sleepless nights (honest, Lolo isn't that cranky kind - except for the two feeds in the night, otherwise she lays down by 10 p.m. and up only around 7 a.m. Thank you Lolo!) or about the physical tiredness (without a helper at home, I amiably do all the chores from washing to feeding to bathing and the rest). 

Sometimes, I wonder what if I had a helper? First fear is the laziness that might creep deep within - I don't want that. And the trust level - how trustworthy are they? My other friend narrates horrifying stories of her baby sitter's behaviour, and that left me thanking of not having one to worry about. With your parents, you are saved of that aspect. 

By and by, I totally agree that baby sitting is a tough job. Perhaps that explains why many reason that they would rather work on the streets than baby sit at home! But being a mother, I have less to complain. Because the joy of watching your child grow is in-exchangeable. 

And we have been laughing a bit too loud at Lolo's new talent - she dances with her head "Dhug-chung dhug-chung!" That's the cutest!

Thursday, October 17, 2013

Motherhood Bliss

On a typical weekend, you will catch me wrestling with Lolo from dawn to dusk. Her energy level is alarming despite her weighty figure and she manages to keep the rest of us in shape. She is our huge entertainer at home - all teeth are falling in and out laughing at the little things she does for us.

This is 'motherhood bliss' and I love it. In fact, all of us are blessed in one way or the other. Like my parents who are enjoying parenthood for the 11th time, they are not tired as yet. They spare every single minute to hover around Lolo and attend to her. Both in 70s but the most active generation in the family.

My Hubby seems to be enjoying parenthood to the fullest with Lolo right now. He seems to have missed a major part of joy during Leksh's childhood, very unfortunate though. When I watch him with Lolo, I wonder if he remembers that this is his second, because he is so engrossed and taken away by the joy of being a father. I am happy for him.

Our elder daughter Leksh is ever the big sister to Lolo. They make a good pair, also by the similar features they inherited from their father, irrespective of who their mothers are! But Leksh is a daughter to me just as much as she respects me as her mother. I think what Lucy said makes perfect sense, "Alu, you have always been a parent, perhaps this time a parent to a baby." (KP and I claim we are parents to five kids - Two daughters, two nieces and one naughty nephew in Mr. R!)

I have always believed in the potential of we women that we can either break or make a man. Like we women can break or make a family. Like we women can break or make a life. In my case, I am a winner - because I made a man, a family and a life. Nothing makes me prouder than this achievement that my life is perfectly good. We are not rich, we are not wealthy, neither are we powerful. But we are seriously happy.

Motherhood has exposed a gentle part of me, and a bigger capability. The hundred things I do in a day as a working mother, daughter and wife tell me that. To that extend that we sit around a table and laugh at our worries. Because we are there for each other, if not anything else.

And this I thank Motherhood for all the joys in my family. Thank you Lolo for keeping us together. 

Thursday, September 26, 2013

My Lolo is Little Unwell

For the first time in eight months, Lolo is down with cold (which she apparently caught from me) and for the first time she is fussy. This worries all of us, me especially when I can't bear to see my otherwise super-duper active girl drooped to a collapsed figure. 

Last to last night, she had bad fever and her body felt like a furnace. We were awake at the wee hours of the night nursing and entertaining her. Motherhood prepares you for beautiful times but times like this are hard to be battled. Thankfully, she is a little better this morning. I just hope she is even better as I sit in office writing this article. 

I still haven't learnt to complain about being busy round the clock, but often I wish there was something different even for a day. Like I wake up to the same routine and end with just the same routine. Should there be some offers of change, I am made to think not twice but hundred times, ultimately meeting with a flat denial because I can't afford a change!

I was home full-time baby sitting just two weeks ago. Lolo and I woke up at the same time, we were play-dates the entire days and we had so many more things to do together. When we got bored staying inside, we went out and talked to the wind. My Lolo is a big fan of nature that she loves open air and insists being taken out most of the day.

Yet, for the last few days Lolo looked pale and deflated. It even showed some eye-bags. Her chubby hands became lifeless. She wouldn't eat or feed, not to mention her motionless figure. Looking at her, it made me wish she never had to undergo any such moments and like I wrote a friend, how I wish they spoke sooner! Right now, it's like she has million things to complain but she can't and we have to assume ourselves.

People blame that I am a first-time fussy mother. I won't buy that easily. I am completely freaked out because my baby is still a baby and what I can care now is what will matter for the rest of her life. This sounds sacrificial but yes, that it is. Over the last two years, I have kept myself put for many many things, simply for the reason that my baby deserves her childhood to be the best. 

And when she is unwell like this, it makes me think more defensive than ever. I know sitting in office and pretending to work while my entire mind is with her is also a fallacy. So, I got here and am leaving this note to my girl - "Get well soon Lolo and give us the sound of laughter!"

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Bhutanese Bloggers e-Conference

Well, I am to take a break from my usual cribs about being Lolo's mother and join fellow bloggers in celebrating this e-blogger initiative taken by Rekha Mongar and respond to the invitation sent by Ngawang Penstar. Alright.

1. Why did you start blogging in the first place? And what’s the story behind your blog title?
Of the few intimate passions I claim to have, writing is one of my favourites. (I know I dream of writing a book one day...ha-ha!). Back then, I wrote and printed the stories, until I stumbled across the free online blogging site. So I began this blog (http://www.luzee.blogspot.com/). 

Initially, I had titled it as "Luzee and her Hidden Heart" because I found myself literally talking to my blog what I couldn't express in person to another. It was like I opened my heart and exposed everything bare. But with the birth of my daughter (and myself as a mother), I wanted to dedicate it to my daughter. So, I rephrased the title as "A Mother's Journey Thus Begun". One day, she should read through and understand how much I had celebrated this promotion.

2. How long have you been blogging? Where are you based?
Mmmm, I think I began blogging sometimes in 2006 in wordpress. The current blog must have been there since 2007 (although I have shamelessly deleted all my earlier posts! Blame this inconsistency in me!).

I am very much in the capital Thimphu. But I take my blog where-ever I go, because my emotions are more when I am away from home.

3. How do you schedule your blog post? Daily or weekly? Or as and when inspiration strikes you?
I would love to update it almost every day if possible but with this new set of responsibilities, I admit this is entirely not possible. So, I tend to update when I get a new surge of inspirations or beauties to talk to my daughter in the form of words.

4. Does your family and friends know about your blog?
I always thought I wrote something and nobody knew about it but surprisingly I seem to have a lot of readership! Like one time, a journalist walked into my office screaming if I were 'Luzee the writer' and that she religiously follows my blog!

And another time, I had written about family conflict which again became viral (would appreciate if any of my readers retained a copy since I had long deleted it - I want to re-read it again!).

On a positive note, yes I think I am amply read by my family and friends.

Friday, August 16, 2013

From a Mother to Her Daughter - on her 7th month.

Dear Lolo,

We are seven months old now. It gives me so much joy to look back to the last seven months of our time and I feel so happy to celebrate this special bond between us.

As you started to grow in my tummy, everyday was a feeling of happiness and joy. How much I rejoiced the prospect of motherhood, only I can explain! We began this wonderful journey, being connected through and in hearts – because you will be my child and I your mother. I should have known.

Then you came, announcing your arrival with the loudest cry of a baby. You were pink, cuddled and faintish, with such lengthy limbs not seen on any child before and your hands were so blue. Even in that dire moment of pain, I noticed the perfect fingers and toes attached to your little hands and legs. Your nose was flat, puffy and had white dots.  But your black hair made you look so perfect, even in that naked stature of a new-born.

You had such a welcome team awaiting your arrival at the hospital. Your Papa, who will continue to be our biggest asset, was there through the whole time. His smile had only one message – that he knew unlimited happiness. And your Amchi couldn’t hold her happiness either. She knew she would love you immediately. As we walked out of the labour room, we had your Ajang-Daddy, Ane, Ana Lucy and Acho Rigcee, eagerly waiting to get the first glimpse of the newest member in the family. You were an immediate celebrity! Oh, we shouldn’t forget to thank Dr. Narayan Rizal and Sister Yangden, who took their personal initiative to bring you to the world. Later, Ana Lekshey joined the team and she took an immediate responsibility of being your elder sister.

Back home the following day, we were joined by Ajang Kezang and Azem Kezang who traveled from Gelephug on your two day. Your maternal grandparents and Ana Lilly returned from Punakha the next day. My father, your grandfather, had performed the lhab-sang thruesel of all your elder cousins, so I wished he would conduct yours as well. As if planned, he arrived right on time to conduct the ritual the next morning, after being away for more than two months attending the various religious discourses. This was a clear indication of the family union you are born into.

Everyone wanted to hold and caress you, and you became everyone’s favourite. To be pampered is your right, I guess, that you should receive so much love and attention from all of us. When Aku Chencho and Apchi came from Sibsoo, the last of the family members to bless you, they had to join the queue to hold you. So, you see Lolo – you have a big family already, and we love you very much.

The next two months saw hundreds of visitors who came to bless you. Our house became little less than a fish market but the feeling that those visitors acknowledged your arrival and took such efforts to welcome you was the most enlightening feeling of your Mama, this woman writing this story! 

Lolo, you must know that the world is not always a perfect place. I will not be able to protect you from all the vices and pains, no matter how hard I try. As a mother, I would wish my child to live the heavenly life ever, and keep her away from all the sorrows and unhappiness. But I know this is a utopian wish, never a reality for anyone. Instead, I will groom you strong enough to face the truths of life; strong enough to fight the adversaries and strong enough to withstand any obstacle your way. I will teach you to smile through the tears, wake you up from dreams to face the realities and inculcate honesty and integrity, the two must-have values your father and I respect.

Also, I will constantly remind you to keep your family and values above name, fame, wealth, money and material. In pursuit of the latter, do not ever lose the former. Life has death following like a shadow. When you are alive, you might as well live it in the right way. Be content with what you have – remember that even the richest man dies penniless. Your father and I may not have anything substantial to give you and your sister Lekshey, but we will never starve you or throw you to the streets. We have decided to give you both the best of education instead of materials, so that one day you will stand on your feet and make yourself worthy of your survival.

Oh, I think I am getting carried away now. You see, this is what I keep thinking every moment. I seem to be with lots of plans up my sleeves to ensure that I be the best mother ever. In return of the joy you give us, we want to be the best family for you.

Alright, for today I stop here. I only want you to know that the last seven months of our life has been the most enriching because of your presence and we love you very much.

Your Mama (signed with full love!)

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Post Election Thoughts.



I have so much to thank my humble background and my uneducated parents for NOT instilling the fire of politics in any of us siblings. Thank God, none of us would ever aspire to be a politician and I pray none of our children also ever think of it.

Watching the two rounds of elections in Bhutan (and many others all around the world), the conviction becomes even stronger that this line of profession would require someone to be hard-core and steel-made. Which we are not. 

I am neither anti-DPT nor pro-PDP but the fireball of the last election tormented me for no good reasons. Should I say I was concerned as a concerned citizen of the country? Obviously. To the fact that having worked with the previous government for the last five years, we are bound to have some attachment. Hence, the result disheartened us emotionally. But PDP is no new to us. With its role as the government now, we have our own apprehension and expectation, not that we undermine their capabilities. So, that leaves us with hope and prayers for better times. 

Seriousness aside, I have unwritten fears of being a politician:

I don’t think I will have to heart to criticize/ defame or brutalize my opponent in the name of politics or winning some votes for myself. As I watched the public forum debates of the constituencies, how I wished they talked more of what they would do in their constituencies, rather than fishing out for excuses of the other party. This is certainly not me. 

I am scared of big cars (ha-ha). I haven’t driven the SUV we bought some 18 months back, because I feel women look womanly in smaller cars. So, I was thinking that if I were a politician I might have to drive one big car and that will be a total disaster. Hence, I rest my case (and fear) here. 

Travel – I enjoy traveling but not in the sun. Like I joke, God gave me everything except a good skin. Few minutes in the sun and I become like a boiled crocodile. If I were a politician, I may have to walk for miles and miles. This has become a serious fear to me. Therefore, I resorted to respect my sensitive skin.

I am more of a stay-home person, and now that I have a child, every minute saved is a minute more with my girl. Being a politician seems to require one to be on travel most of the time. Well, this goes against my will as well.

Even in reading, I have lesser interest to read on power, politics and wars. Somehow, I fail to understand what makes a person so crazy about all these kinds of interests. This perhaps is an indication of my displeasure towards these fields. And I thank myself for keeping away from the politics of politics.

But I voted as a responsible citizen. I voted with the prayer to choose the right government, with the hope that we citizens do not fail in our choices to choose our own leaders. Whatever the outcome of the election, it is within us to respect. 

Election shouldn’t be about choosing a person over the other, but about choosing the right people for the bigger interest of the nation. It shouldn’t be about personal gains, but about larger interest of the whole lot of people. 

Therefore, I send my sincere prayers for the future of our country. We have so much to care, worry and be concerned about our beautiful country.




Sunday, July 7, 2013

Where is TIME these days?

Is the world OK? Am I OK? Well, I have begun to ask weird questions just to awake this sense of 'alive' in me, but of course I have been awake in my best way.

To be a mother is the best role a woman can play in her life.

To be a mother is - to wake up couple of times in the night and yet feel like you had the most undisturbed sleep! Thus, a Mother is Compromise.

To be a mother is - to horde your anger until you burst but a single look at the baby is just enough to forgive the man who makes you cry, because he gave you this bundle of joy. Thus, a Mother is Patience!

To be a mother is - to wait until the clock strikes 'the moment' to go to office and wait for 'the moment' to rush back home, so that you may spent every single minute with your child. Thus, a Mother is Energy.

To be a mother is - to hastily look for the lost pair of glove, and drive home wearing just one pair, because you can't afford to waste time scanning the car. You also ignore anyone's surprised eyes, because you know they will never understand your story. Thus, a Mother is Bliss.

To be a mother is - to pick up a nice pair of slippers, ask for the price and when you calculate, perhaps you can buy few items for your baby and then you excuse saying 'the size is bit too big' (if the salesgirl offers a bigger size, you give a better excuse!). Thus, a Mother is Sacrifice.

To be a mother is - to keep one's mind never at rest, because you want the entire world to talk nothing but about your baby and you feel so good to be this special in giving a life. You feel only you are capable of this beauty. Thus, a Mother is Eternal Beauty.

To be a mother is - (at last) this kind of blogger who blogs once in a few months, just to keep the world informed that her new found world is what keeps this busy Mama occupied round the clock. (And the next article won't be long, so I promise.) Thus, a Mother is Promise for a better tomorrow.

I am a Mother.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Happy 100 Days, My Darling

100 days ago, I was born. Motherhood was born. 
100 days later, I recount my life. And a mother writes...

I gave her a gentle kiss and bade her bye until lunch hour. Lolo gently drifted to sleep just as I was about to leave for work. Trust that my heart breaks each morning I come to work.

Lolo @ 100 days with her 'Happy Baby' Top.
My darling is 100 days old today and 100 days of joy at home. Since then, she has been the nucleus at home with everyone drooling over her and she the ever-demanding girl. Our day starts and ends with her, we talk non-stop about her and even if she were sleeping, we steal moments to peep at her. She is the big boss at home.

How I enjoy attending to her! Not even minding the sleepless nights (especially her wee-hour feeds @ 12.30 a.m., 4.00 a.m. and her wake-up alarm at 6:00 a.m.). I don't mind she pooping graciously when I eat, I don't mind she throwing tantrums when I wish I could nap for few more minutes. Because I so enjoy this phase of my life, it makes me feel great that I gave life. And the life is my girl Lolo.

My happiness is not always laughter. Sometimes, tears come as part of being a mother. Like when she got her first vaccine, she screamed dead and I cried together wishing I could share the pain or perhaps have taken the vaccine myself. Like when my Hubby, out of anger threw her pair of pants and I cried being so hurt. Like the night I and Hubby had a fuss and I cried because I couldn't imagine my girl going through the same marital issues (touchwood!) in future. 
Someone posted this on FB. So nicely said!

Every morning, I remind her to be strong, to be honest and live with a good heart. I tell her that she needs to stand to the adversaries in life, to stand on feet irrespective of anything, anyone and be good to one's survival. (She sure will be a strong woman for from the moment she was conceived, I fought through and I did that for my baby.) 100 days and Lolo has a dominating personality - very determined, arrogant and stubborn. 

Lolo is the very subject of my survival and she is my model. She is everything I had dreamt of, and she is my reason to live another 100 years!

Friday, April 12, 2013

Thus, My Life's Journey Continues

I know I have been awfully silent for the last few months, if only someone could guess the series of events that changed my life forever, but as I say 'to the positive side'.

On 08th January, 2013 I gave birth to a healthy baby girl weighing 3.2 kgs - pink, shrill and active. Her birth came so graciously, you know the tantrums of labour pains, the visits to the hospital and everything about being a mother. I was so excited about this new prospect in life and enjoyed every bit of my time since then.

Today, my girl is 95 days (OMG - 95 days since my life changed!) and she is + 7 kgs, round and chubby, very (very) active and restless, and (thankfully) an amiable and peaceful child. She is at home right now as I write this piece, had called my father a while ago and he said she woke up after a short nap. Her mild cries filled in while we conversed. We fondly call her 'Lolo', must say my 'Lhasen' finally came to me.

To be a mother is one of the biggest challenges in life, one that comes with no regret or complain. I so love all my moments with her, have greatly enjoyed watching her grow everyday. Undisturbed sleep is perhaps something I miss and the luxury I know I can't demand for the next few years. What does it matter, so long as the little life you gave gives you more joy than ever!

I can talk about nothing but my girl, I can think about no one but my girl. She is like the beauty I had envisioned and couldn't possess until the day she shot her presence into the world! There is nothing more beautiful than being a mother, really. To be a mother is this that you get to define beauty in many (many) words, in many (many) forms.

I feel Lolo and I make a perfect pair, we have so much in common - one remarkably our eloquent conversational ability (must to be the fear of my Hubby who is already foreseeing the daughter overtaking her mother!). Lolo began her tal-tol expressions a little before she completed her 2nd month and today she has million things to talk to anyone around her (we all wish we understood her). She loves 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star'. I sing to her and she sings along - isn't that beautiful? Her smile is enchanting, that small curve of her mouth. Oh, how I miss her as I write about all these!

I can go volumes about her, but for a start, this is the piece. Before I rush back to feed her, I must complete some work. I write this to declare that the most exciting journey of my life began a year ago and there is no stop to enjoying this excitement! More to come as I fill in the diary of my life.