Happy 100 Days, My Darling

100 days ago, I was born. Motherhood was born. 

100 days later, I recount my life. And a mother writes...

I gave her a gentle kiss and bade her bye until lunch hour. Lolo gently drifted to sleep just as I was about to leave for work. Trust that my heart breaks each morning I come to work.

Lolo @ 100 days with her 'Happy Baby' Top.

My darling is 100 days old today and 100 days of joy at home. Since then, she has been the nucleus at home with everyone drooling over her and she the ever-demanding girl. Our day starts and ends with her, we talk non-stop about her and even if she were sleeping, we steal moments to peep at her. She is the big boss at home.

How I enjoy attending to her! Not even minding the sleepless nights (especially her wee-hour feeds @ 12.30 a.m., 4.00 a.m. and her wake-up alarm at 6:00 a.m.). I don't mind she pooping graciously when I eat, I don't mind she throwing tantrums when I wish I could nap for few more minutes. Because I so enjoy this phase of my life, it makes me feel great that I gave life. And the life is my girl Lolo.

My happiness is not always laughter. Sometimes, tears come as part of being a mother. Like when she got her first vaccine, she screamed dead and I cried together wishing I could share the pain or perhaps have taken the vaccine myself. Like when my Hubby, out of anger threw her pair of pants and I cried being so hurt. Like the night I and Hubby had a fuss and I cried because I couldn't imagine my girl going through the same marital issues (touchwood!) in future. 

Someone posted this on FB. So nicely said!

Every morning, I remind her to be strong, to be honest and live with a good heart. I tell her that she needs to stand to the adversaries in life, to stand on feet irrespective of anything, anyone and be good to one's survival. (She sure will be a strong woman for from the moment she was conceived, I fought through and I did that for my baby.) 100 days and Lolo has a dominating personality - very determined, arrogant and stubborn. 

Lolo is the very subject of my survival and she is my model. She is everything I had dreamt of, and she is my reason to live another 100 years!

Thus, My Life's Journey Continues

I know I have been awfully silent for the last few months, if only someone could guess the series of events that changed my life forever, but as I say 'to the positive side'.

On 08th January, 2013 I gave birth to a healthy baby girl weighing 3.2 kgs - pink, shrill and active. Her birth came so graciously, you know the tantrums of labour pains, the visits to the hospital and everything about being a mother. I was so excited about this new prospect in life and enjoyed every bit of my time since then.

Today, my girl is 95 days (OMG - 95 days since my life changed!) and she is + 7 kgs, round and chubby, very (very) active and restless, and (thankfully) an amiable and peaceful child. She is at home right now as I write this piece, had called my father a while ago and he said she woke up after a short nap. Her mild cries filled in while we conversed. We fondly call her 'Lolo', must say my 'Lhasen' finally came to me.

To be a mother is one of the biggest challenges in life, one that comes with no regret or complain. I so love all my moments with her, have greatly enjoyed watching her grow everyday. Undisturbed sleep is perhaps something I miss and the luxury I know I can't demand for the next few years. What does it matter, so long as the little life you gave gives you more joy than ever!

I can talk about nothing but my girl, I can think about no one but my girl. She is like the beauty I had envisioned and couldn't possess until the day she shot her presence into the world! There is nothing more beautiful than being a mother, really. To be a mother is this that you get to define beauty in many (many) words, in many (many) forms.

I feel Lolo and I make a perfect pair, we have so much in common - one remarkably our eloquent conversational ability (must to be the fear of my Hubby who is already foreseeing the daughter overtaking her mother!). Lolo began her tal-tol expressions a little before she completed her 2nd month and today she has million things to talk to anyone around her (we all wish we understood her). She loves 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star'. I sing to her and she sings along - isn't that beautiful? Her smile is enchanting, that small curve of her mouth. Oh, how I miss her as I write about all these!

I can go volumes about her, but for a start, this is the piece. Before I rush back to feed her, I must complete some work. I write this to declare that the most exciting journey of my life began a year ago and there is no stop to enjoying this excitement! More to come as I fill in the diary of my life.

Learning Patience, Being Patient

"Check your blood pressure," my Hubby hushes every time I roar into those tiny moments of anger, which thankfully are not often. And surprisingly in the last few months I have calmed down just as much as the sea - so sober, humble and pathetic. So, this is how one matures with time and experience. (Because, I am going through a wonderful life experience!)

Who would experience such a deadly blow in the middle of the express-way, exactly at the rush hours when the cars speeding by are but flying missiles? Me! Me! Me! Right, last to last week, I was at the Babesa-Thimphu expressway with a flat tire - the time noted 8:25 a.m. and in the car were my school-going nieces (who started fidgeting with fears of getting late) and two lady-friends taking a lift. I, like a C-O-O-L Dude made few calls, arranged to reach the passengers, fixed the tire (my Hubby of course, still in his bathroom slippers and tracks) and rushed down to the workshop like on a normal day!

Back home in the evening, Hubby demanded some lessons learnt and one big explanation from me. I said, "Why bore over the begone past? (sounding like some lunatic poet)" and closed the chapter. [His surprised expression indicated only one conclusion - What is wrong with my wife these days? Why isn't she screaming and cribbing like before? Sorry Hubby, your wife is all calm now...calm as the sea!]

Again. (Yes, I am always in for some adventure.) I locked the car key inside and started casting a drama on the ring-road, again during the morning rush hours. The road in front of my current working place is a total disaster in the morning - we have tens of constructions going on (with their big trucks lined up the road) and the worst part of the road being two-ways. Imagine the traffic in the morning!

Yesterday morning, I was the catch at the traffic with a 30-cm scale in my hand (no, never losing my smile all the way), desperately trying to push open the lock. A friend came to help  - no luck. She left with a small prayer. Another attempt. No luck yet. Another came. No luck. Until few more attempts and bingo, it worked. What surprised me was not the way it worked, but the way I stayed composed and hopeful. It seemed like there is always a way out, no matter in what kind of situation you are. 

Really, this wasn't me few months ago. Then, I went berserk at the slightest tinge of a failed moment. But today, oh I am as casual as anything before me. Back on the chair, I recounted these moments and couldn't help smiling at how patient I tend to be now. Thanks to life, for all the lessons sent my way. To the people who made me what I am today, contributing in all modes (positive/ negative). To all the lessons/experiences/adventures. To the glory of  a life's experience, because life is what you make of it, and not what others think of it.