Sunday, October 12, 2014

Thinking of my Little One: Lolo

It's been a while since I updated my log. I am ashamed of the silence which is purely unintentional but as a busy working mother, time is a luxury I wish I had more in a day! Anyway, the mood is perfect for an update right now.

Running into the fourth day away from my Lolo, I feel so vacant and incomplete. I am trying to grasp with the reality that I am physically away from Lolo, my little energy dose. At this time, she must be running wild at home or if she is out of the house today being Sunday, she would be apple-baked in the sun! Oh, I miss you Darling, you are such a sweetheart.

Lolo has been doing perfectly fine and I continue thanking for all the blessings that came with her. In my deepest moments of contemplation, I think of how my life has bloomed with the birth of my daughter. Lolo is the sun of the day and the moon of the night. And during a clear sky, she is the only star I see in the sky. 

The fact that she is capable of taking care even at this age is my biggest consolation. She surely knows who to stay good when I am away. When I am near her, I become her target of whims and fancies. Of course! I get that extra pudding for being her mother, and I get to enjoy my little one more than anyone else.

I miss her tiny fingers and toes, I miss her tiny lips and I miss her funny walks. All right, I miss everything about my daughter. At night, I think of my bed time with her - the way she drifts into slumber holding my hand, the tiny sound of snores from her almost invisible nose and her crazy cries at night. That I wake up in the middle of the night thinking of her. 

Lolo will be a highly diplomatic character as I can sense how she caresses me when I am seemingly angry with her. Unless I say OK, she clings to me crying out, "Ma-ma...ma-ma." This is my girl! And then she gives me her million dollar smile, her tiny teeth pouting out haplessly. 

I think of a pink Lolo at this moment - pink shirts and pink trousers. Or no pants? 

I am so determined to work harder for Lolo for she deserves to have the best life, the best of everything. When she grows up, I will take her to places she needs to visit to understand life better; I will make her meet people who will show the positive indicators of life. For now, she is surrounded by a houseful of people who eat for Lolo, drink for Lolo and think of Lolo. Lolo...our biggest asset and mine - a new life!

Signed with beautiful love and huge misses. 

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Mid-way to Terrible TWO

"Ha-ha-ha," this will be the most usual sound roaring from all of us who watch our little Lolo perform her many stunts every day, and each day sees more and more of her developmental acts. 

Lolo hit her "mid-way to terrible two" few days ago, which reminds us to stand prepared for the most terrible phase of her childhood - the TWO-year target! Already, her mischief keeps us entertained and worried (a minute of silence indicates her whereabouts somewhere doing something not meant to!). This morning, she was laid down on the floor when I entered the kitchen. Without a feather's sound, she had followed me and didn't know since when she had been standing near the gas cylinder, her tiny fingers fiddling the hose pipe! And the next minute, she was all over my jackets; apparently her head got struck in one of them and there she was, howling at the top of her voice!

With her freedom to be standing on her feet, Lolo exploits the time with full energy and vigilance. I tell you, she is everywhere. I mean everywhere. 

"She is not two yet? Oh, worse is yet to come," says almost every one who gets my woes for an answer when they ask how Lolo is. I think I say that she keeps me too busy with her movements. So, terrible TWO is what we have to wait and see!

The fact that she is so entertaining (except when she demands to play with water) really keeps the rest of us glued to her performance. Of late, she has picked up some acrobat moves with her hinges and head. For the record, she refuses to wear any footwear unless we go out and into the car, and by the end of the day - you tell me the color of her soles! 

Lolo is too lazy to clean her poo :) Few weeks ago, she had known how to indicate, that I invested into an expensive potty which the lousy weather spared her from the training. Today, she doesn't even let us check on her diapers; the moment she sees us approaching her with the wipes and oil, she jets out at a slippery speed and we running after her until we corner her somewhere on the wall. Then, she screams and rolls over :(

So, terrible TWO is what we have to wait and see. With half a year left to face the stage, our confidence is only wavering. We are many against one but she really is a handful child. If only we didn't love her so much, we wouldn't care much or be at her guard. But we love her very (very) much and we are at her command.


Friday, June 20, 2014

A Cautionary Note to My Daughter

"Dear Lolo,

Rejoice your virtue and innocence when you can - if you were an adult like us today, you would be down trodden to hear about all kinds of things happening around us. I have been trying to protect you from from the vices and prejudices as much as possible, but I know you won't be escaped as you grow up.

The world is becoming a chaotic place. Power, authority, wealth, money, name and fame are what everyone is after. How often I look at you and wish I could take you to a different world where you won't have to be a part of all of these dirty things in life!

This morning, I read in Kuensel that Bhutan is ranked 16/162 in the global ranking of Happiest Countries! Oh yes, we are fortunate in many many ways compared to 2/3rd of the world. When I watch the heart wrenching news in the Television from all over the world, from places inflicted by war and arms, of children and women being the hapless victims, of men being butchered by militants, of girls being raped and mutilated, I thank our fortune for being born in a country like Bhutan where these kinds of happenings are at the bare minimum. 

But Darling, time is changing and people are changing, even here in Bhutan.

Worse than wars and arms, our people are undergoing mental and attitude transformation which I find are more dangerous than physical changes. Already we have divided society based on regions (very often I hear westerns citing eastern and otherwise as well), our people are rifting apart in the name of political parties and the level of unhappiness is growing intensely.

Economic crisis is hitting us hard. I fear soon we might enter depression period and it will be more than painful if our children are victimized by the follies of their parents. Parents are we today and you children might end up paying for our mistakes. Lolo, forgive us then, forgive us now.

Your Mama wishes she can change the entire world for the good of all. At the least, I can worry for you and try keeping you from these vices. You know Lolo, when you grow up, you don't have to be rich, wealthy, beautiful, or powerful. Just be a good person. Like your Papa had said few years ago, 'I may die a poor man, I may die a rich man, I may die a young man, I may die an old man. But my conscience is clear and I will die a Happy Man.'

In prayers for your GOOD HUMAN BEING,

Mama."