Thursday, May 28, 2015

My THREE Wishes

The ten minutes before I drift off to sleep are the most productive time of my day, for these ten minutes give me the only privacy for my thoughts. On one such night, I for no good reason filtered down the THREE wishes I should be granted, had a Genie stood before me.

I imagined the scene unfolding this way:

"Whoa-la! I am the Genie and I am here to grant you your most wishful thoughts...the THREE wishes of your life!"

I think I should pretend being a little surprised or altogether surprised. So, I shriek a bit, scream a little longer and flip my eyelids without a word.

"You have no wish?" Genie ought to pester me a bit.

"I do, I do," and I prolong my surprise.

The Genie smiles broadly and awaits with its folded arms.

"First - grant me a nice voice! You won't believe how envious I am of those voices who pierce my heart each time I listen to their songs. Say Ugyen Pandey's - he has just the most amazing husky voice and can sing anything his way. Think of Pema Deki's - hers is so melodious that I feel melted. There is Minzung's - so soft and heart wrenching. Likewise, I can go on for a long list!"

The Genie asks me to pause. "What makes you want a nice voice?"

"I will sing songs of love - win hearts of everyone. 
I will sing praises of The Enlightened. 
My prayers will go stronger as I recite them, deep from my heart. 
I will compose wonderful lyrics and sing them for everyone. 
I will exploit sociability even more and generate more happiness."

The Genie is pleased and grants me the wish...BOOM!

"Second - make my skin resilient to the sun, heat and allergy. Have you seen how I become frog-skin every spring, summer and autumn? Winter is because I am fully covered. Let my skin go sun-baked!"

BOOM!

"Lastly, grant me the miracle to uplift the lives of those trodden people I see everywhere. 
When I see an old man, give us the strength to provide him a painless aging. 
When I see a homeless child, give me the prayer that will provide a home for the child. 
When I see a sick person, give me the miracle to cure him immediately. 
When I read about wars, give me the power to stop them. 
When I watch about hedious crimes, give me the ability to correct them.
I have too many wishes Genie, to make this world a better place!"

The Genie puts a hard poker face and says, "Write about this incident and make everyone read it. If they feel what you feel, your wish is granted."

And I drifted to sleep with the same croaking voice, the same allergic skin but with the wishful heart.

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

What IF I had a Mother-in-Law?

Last evening as I was doing the dishes, this very abrupt thought crossed my mind, "What if I had a mother-in-law?" Yes, "a mother-in-law" because I never had the fortune to have one.

Life would have been different, not only for me but also for my husband and our family. I guess the most for my Husband who would have then enjoyed every happiness of having his mother around him; whose misfortune began the day his mother is said to have passed away when he was little over a year old. Then on, his maternal grandparents (may peace be with their souls) had taken great care of him to bring him up.

What he or we have now are few pictures of his late mother, two of which are standing tall on the walls, neatly framed and erected. Last month, during our ritual mass clean-up, KP took down the frames for dust-off. Just then, Lolo passed by and she remarked, "Mama, Lolo." Her innocence revolves only in the present and it will be sometimes before she realises the truth that she never got to  see her paternal grandma, and that picture is everything she has about her.

My Husband KP has lived all his life accepting the fact about not having his mother around. How he passed through the ordeals is a different story altogether, and like I said, his maternal grands raised him within their best efforts. With their passing aways in consecutive years, KP's life only became dimmer.

As for me, this abrupt thought of having a proper in-law family often craves, for the mere fact that my Husband's life would have been the most different. And when I think of Leksh and Lolo who never really got to know any of their paternal grands, I feel even sadder. My parents are around today to take care of our children, and had we had KP's mother also around, I can imagine a totally different life.

Like last week when KP held the only artefact that belonged to his mother, which came into his possession only few years ago, the look on his face said what thought crossed his mind. In such moments, I don't say anything. On contrary, I still have my parents around and life is just about perfect, so any comment from my side would not suffice his situation. Therefore, I remain silent.

What may come, I think I will continue to wish I had a chance to know KP's mother. The wish comes stronger when I think of our girls, that they by all means deserve to have two sets of grandparents. When time comes, I will pass down the story to my Lolo. Leksh, in due course of time have come to understand the absence and thence accepted the voidness. 

As for me, I think I will continue pondering for all times, with this distant memoir of conversation with my mother as a child:
"No mother will take you for a daughter-in-law", my mother would remark when I got stubborn.
"I will marry a man without a mother!" my answer always stood the same.
"No man comes without a mother," my mother would protest.
"You never know. I might meet one," and I met KP.

Sometimes, you predict the most uncertain life for yourself.


Thursday, April 16, 2015

Gentle Little Lolo Shows the Way

Now that my Lolo has become a "little woman", time with her is so much fun. She says funny little things and makes funny little moves, and in my own words, she is so cute! 

I see a gentle side of my daughter as evident in her personality that I have been observing in the last few months. Unlike many other children of her age, Lolo is not at all jealous of other babies her age. She in facts asks me to fondle them while she caresses their cheeks, and even allows me to attend to them. 

Last weekend, we were over a friend's baby shower where I counted 1-10 heads of children below 5 years. It seemed like a zoo :) In such variety, it's evident how your child behaves. Even without being told, if another child asked for a toy in her hand, Lolo amiably gave it to him/ her, irrespective of the taker being elder or younger than her. I watched her like a proud mother and confided that this girl will be a gentle lady one day!

The joy of sharing is an inherent personality that I personally have found immense joys in. As a child, I grew up within limited capacities to share and I was often branded as a stingy person, well within my family itself. With time, as I began to loosen my grip on defiles, I began to enjoy life more in giving what little I had that to this day, I possess nothing so attached for me to fear giving up.

Also, let me narrate you this incident: Last week, I gave lift to two little primary boys from Semtokha to Lungtenphug. Their eloquence in speaking, at this age, impressed the rest of us in the car. The five minutes drive turned out to be conversational. As they jumped off from the car, I gave them Nu. 50 each and some good words to continue their spirit in being active young minds. The minute the car got back on wheels, I sensed a different air that compelled me to turn my head back. And in the rear mirrors, I saw these little boys giving high-five and dancing "balle-balle" in the middle of the road. That made my day and continue to do so :)

Likewise, the art of giving is a gentle gesture of being self-less, I believe! And my girl seems to know the joy so early in life. As her mother, this is a pride I can ride on for long. And my prayers that she thrive on this gentle side, only growing better with each day. Lolo gets me proud and smart for every little thing she does.